slowworm

2003-05-26T17:15:00.000Z

At the risk of getting slightly personal on the blog, (not something I find is coming easy to me) I came accross what I found to be a fascinating article today about introverts Somewhat gradually I think I have been making a slow transition from extrovert to introvert over the last 5 years.....at first it scared me, as someone used to clever banter and a broad social life I was becoming someone increasingly craving solitude. I could have almost writen this article, 2 hours alone for every 1 hour in a social situation is a great formula. I am no less happy than before, just enjoy realising things on my own and not through social interaction sometimes. I dont think things are quite as cut and dry as the article makes out, but time alone is like recharging my batteries, like sleep almost. Can an extrovert understand an introvert? Some can't as I found at uni, if I was in my room I was often "hiding, sulking or up to no good" according to some....but I am sure many socialites can understand than not everyone is like themself?! I am happy in my own company...which could be seen as shy, intimidated, stuck up..or confident, imaginative and thoughtful - to name but a few of the words that come to mind. Like all great quandries I am in two minds about this subject; I am not sure whether I spend time on my own because it is easier not to push myself and interact, or whether it is simply more productive and enjoyable sometimes.

Am off now to interact, dont worry stupid inane links will return to this page soon I assure you!

2003-05-24T17:41:00.000Z

So after that almost serious blog I couldn't let you all down by not giving you your daily dosage of web wierdness...

shopping is now a regular feature....quality stuff can be found here and santa this is what I want you to get down my chimney this year;-) If you are looking for some serious trouble this is a good way to go about it and I should think this young lady wasn't flavour of the month after either....

2003-05-24T16:00:00.000Z

Today I have been basking in the luxury of having a free day all to myself to do whatever I want with after a spending all last weekend working on my MOD application. (The interview went swimmingly, but the exam went very pear shaped...hope I got enough content in to make it passable.) After loafing gloriously in bed until mid day, scanning the papers and munchin bacon buttys I dragged my hungover ass out of bed and down to the modern art gallery moma. The current exhibition is entitled the rape of creativity, and lives up to its title pulling no punches (artists jake and dinos chapman) This is one of those exhibitions that everyone will view very differently...I personally was not shocked by any of it, but then I have seen some grim stuff in my time and some disturbing exhibitions...The chapmans use a lot of images of macdonalds in their art.. which for me drove home how drone like humans can be and I mourn the creaping loss of individuality in the high streets of the UK once again.....favorite part of the exhibit was a piece of instalation art, with a small caravan given some serious decorating....the owner had wallpapered the entire thing in porn, something you couldnt really see till you stuck your head round the door....I spent half an hour watching the reaction of people as they came face to face with a hundred ladies hairy bits....some of the looks were priceless!

What I also love about my local gallery is that they serve superb espresso (as opposed to some who serve disgracefully bad coffee)and have great sofas and coffee table art books to get lost in....Today I got reading about an artist called Richard Prince He used to print large jokes which begin very normally, relaxing you before twisting things and running you into a brick wall of cynisism....I particulary like this one:

"Two psychiatrists, one says to the other; I was having lunch with my mother the other day when I made a freudian slip, I meant to say pass the butter, and it came out you fuckin bitch you ruined my life."

2003-05-20T16:40:00.000Z

So no time to go bogging on 2day unfortunately due to heavy duty levels of hecticness around the office....2day I am mostly swearing every other word, smoking like a relation of dot cotten and kicking random objects...all while looking cool, calm and composed naturally....

There is always time for some random nonsense however: Hungry? Need a laugh?

Much respect to milk and cookies for todays diversions, 2morrow is d day with job interview in Bath...more of the same meanderings thurs then.

2003-05-19T16:37:00.000Z

Not sure is anyone watches 24 on Sunday nights but if you do I am sure you will agree it is compulsive viewing....being of cult status there is plenty of excellent web fodder out there on the subject I thought I would enlighten you with for your surfing pleasure. The character Kim Bauer's story line in this series is going from vaguely plausable to downright random nonsense as she survives an encounter with a mountain lion and meets some muppet with a bomb shelter who is blatently going to try and harm her....however for the record slowworm (at the risk of sounding blokish) endorses any episodes where kim has to take a shower and put on tight t-shirts....Was happy to find out there is a blog dedicated to the best thing to happen to a sunday night since left over roast potatoes... I like the speculation that the technology used by certain characters can help identify them as a bad guy that you love to hate such as the evil nina.....Should you suddenly become overwhelmed with the desire to decorate your pc some tasty wallpaper is knocking about....and this weeks naffest game (rude not to include one!) goes to this effortwhich is far insuperior to the game of the month which is simple but addictive (see random nonsense).

I also enjoyed reading about how shocking some people find 24, including this gem of a quote:

Avoid -- "I was really looking forward to this new show. I enjoy TV programs that try new formats and this one looked promising....While that is interesting, the MAIN REASON that I cannot endorse this show is that it had two graphic sex scenes. Two teenagers in a bed at a furniture store (with the agent's daughter looking on) and a causal encounter between two people in a cramped airplane bathroom. I was shocked at the latter. Maybe all that was to snag the audience early and this will not be present in subsequent episodes, but I won't be there to find out."
--Laura, age 38 I am sure fox are gutted to loose her support....

And finally as I seem to be forever giving tips on how to spend your hard earned cash the 24 box set is very sexy and worth every penny, 24 hours of entertainment for little over £30...bargain!

2003-05-18T12:12:00.000Z

Tommorow is a momentous day for anyone who happens to be walking past HMV or similar location that has a habit of buring holes in your pocket...2morrow see the release of Donnie Darko on DVD and Tricky's new album Vulnerable.

Tricky is one of those enduring legends of trip hop and his album maxinquay is one of the finest purchases I have ever made! Tricky has a dark intense force about him, heavy but inteligent tunes do the business. Live tricky has immense stage presence, and he has several uk and european dates lined up...including glastonbury...Another reason to find a way down the A303 this summer to Glastonbury! Here is a sneak preview of what to expect from Vulnerable.

Donnie Darko suffered from a tragic failure in distribution meaning few will have had the opportunity to see it on the big screen....this is set to be the sleeper dvd hit of 2003 alla memento I loved this film for many reasons, outstanding acting, originality and camera work all come together in a hollywood mold-busting complex and fascinating movie. You could try and catagorise Donnie Darko as sci-fi, rites-of-passage, comedy of teen alienation, an Eighties hallucinatory trip, or journey into madness....but then that would only be the start of it...the very fact you cannot pigeon hole this movie is something all to rare in this day and age and should be przed as a consequence. For those of you who have seen the movie and were hooked the official website is a must and this for real fanatics should explain a few things...

2003-05-17T13:58:00.000Z

Have to absolutely do some work today and not be distracted by blogging, FA cup, Grand Prix qualifying or anything else more interesting than prepairing for my interview nxt week (such as plucking my nose hair etc!) A brief round up of the press however is always necessary.... Todays headlines are:

1. Force not with Heifers
2. Ugly campaign to destroy the image of france...surely not?!
3. Shock ruling, cats are not dogs!
4. Monkey man a fake....no surprises there then...
5. Dubya's CV....impressive accomplishments including the production of a hollywood slasher movie apparently....!

Whos gonna join simpson, vader and info minister in the slowworm hall of fame? Who would win if they had a fight? (great question from London mark). Let the speculation begin!

2003-05-16T12:27:00.000Z

Right, after a traumatic week for slowworm we are back in business (kind of) it appears that the outside help I get from comments boxes and stats etc has caused the recent meltdown. I took out the alien html and everything is now cushty...why this has happened again is beyond me, it worked fine for over a week....

Part of my job involves accessing the personal web pages of people that work for us. We therefore hold a file with everyones password in order for me to do this....recently we have allowed people to change their passwords with some ridiculous results...whether they know, that I know I am not sure but here are some of my favorites:

12345, munchkin, breasts, hapiness, smelly cat, jordan, plonker, stupid, password, teletubby, sunshine, I hate sprouts...

the list is endless! Do people really have daft passwords for important things? When the bank asks for someones password is there a bloke out there (who will remain nameless!) who coughs and says 'breasts'?!

After a drought in quality links I think these are long overdue.....fancy doing some shopping, add one of these to your amazon wishlist! For anyone looking for a new hobby this may be for you does it count as a fetish? For anyone who suffers from backache at work this is a definate must (I want one!)

More later as blogging at work becomes a regular passtime:-)

2003-05-15T09:37:00.000Z

I have managed to crash my blog again....dont ask me how, if I knew I wouldn't have done it would I?!
Will attempt to repair later.......sorry! 1st time here? Dont be put off, its normally much more fun! Diamond geezer (who is definately in the premiership of bloging finess) has been writing a series on boredom and how we spend our time. Great piece of writing that I agree with wholeheartedly and the older I get the more aware I am of how precious my time is to me.....If you dont like your life, dont just blog on about it....change is more fun, more rewarding and more scary than anything else....my life is all about embracing change, celebrating individuality and differences and keeping things interesting.

2003-05-13T17:24:00.000Z

So once again I am blogging from work....happy to be paid to blog! I would like to kick off with the best random comment I have heard 2day: My boss claims that he is the centre of the universe because if the universe is infinate all around him, then for him he is technically the centre of the universe.....yep go figure...

I see today that the french are doing what they do best, no not cooking great food...going on stike! As some of you will know I used to live in paris not so long ago and used to love the french mentality of walking out of the work place...Whilst I lived in paris the local postmen went on strike meaning I didnt get any mail for 2 weeks, can you imagine how that affected all the businesses in my district! The men that deliver the money to the cash machines also went on strike meaning we were paying with credit cards for 15p bagettes at one stage! It always seemed to me like if it was a quiet week and noone appeared to be on strike, then someone would take the opportunity to do just that.....and of course the govn. always seemed to give in to the demands in the end! Public workers dont get yearly payrises, they just go on strike annually and get them that way! Many harsh things are said about the french in this country but I love them and here are some reasons why:

1. It is perfectly acceptable to have a mistress in France! President mitterrand famously had a mistress that caused no scandal in the papers...when he died she stood beside his wife at his grave! The americans could learn a lot from this, who cares if bill clinton had his plonker pulled by monica as long as he did a good job as president!

2. In france you go out later, and the bars close when you stop drinking! I know... lethal but great if you are an insomniac...new years eve involved us going out on the piss till just after midnight, then sitting down for our 1st meal of the new year and then going clubbing at around 3.....class.

3 Bar munchies! Where else will you be given sliced cooked carrots sauteed in approx a kilo of garlic per carrot as a bar snack....in my local on rue de charonne! This bar served as a full on betting shop/restaurant/tobaco shop/bar....need i have ever left?

2003-05-12T17:15:00.000Z

As you may have noticed I am compiling a list of slowworm's favorite people filed under 'slowworm salutes' on the table next to this....this does not necessarily mean I respect them, condone their actions or want their autograph...but it does mean they make the world a much more interesting place! Todays long overdue addition is the star of the iraqi administration, their information minister! Who apparently is having trouble getting arrested!

Infamous for his ridiculous press conferences generally saying anything but the truth he has rightfully earned his right to a cult following, and naturally a a goat load of websites queuing up to take the piss! (An imaginatively titled welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com, wonder what thats all about...?!)

So my favorite off the cuff insults and quotes from iraqs liar liar are:

"That bastard the American Minister of Defense Rumsfeld, and I won't say shamelessly, because they don't know what shame means. These are criminals. The whole word can hear the warning sirens. This criminal sitting in the White House is a pathetic criminal and his Defense Minister deserves to be beaten. These criminals lie to the world because they are criminals by nature and conditioning. They consider this a military site! Shame on you! You will forever be shamed! You have ruined the reputation of the American people in the most terrible way! Shame on you! And we will destroy you!"

"We will slaughter them, Bush Jr. and his international gang of bastards!"

Americans are "wild donkeys" ('OLOOJ' in Arabic)

"the insane little dwarf Bush" (shouldn't that be chimp)

Sorry about the foul language, if I was gonna lower the tone however I cant think of a better way to do it!

2003-05-11T16:49:00.000Z

So you want an inteligent review of the press today? Not here unfortunately but items of nonsense are plentiful you will be happy to know! Have got to recomend ananova for a good read, and its not all quite as ridiculous as my findings! Sometimes people name their sprogs after insane things, but if the little blighter in question is worried...it could have been worse!

And just in case you do not feel intelectually stimulated by reading slowworm today heres a quiz to stretch your brain cells....almost one year on after I left the cosy life of day time tv cheap beer I still managed to answer mostly C's.....

2003-05-10T16:22:00.000Z

As someone who feels a bit like a gerbil on a wheel in a gym I am always looking for alternative forms of excercise....for those who know me crys of "what excercise" will be echoing around the room I am sure...! Anyway I reckon that house gymnastics has got to be the way to go, just dont try it for a laugh when you get back from the pub (or at least not before inviting me around to laugh!) This has to have been started in all fairness by someone who was very bored!

Have had a chuckle at many links 2day, some of which have been added to the nonsense hall of shame opposite...hard to pick a favorite but "need a new motor?" is 5 star jackass meets scrapheap challenge entertainment!

Have been considering writing a serious blog today but just have not had the time or the inclination, due mainly to hangover and some serious and longoverdue research into the MOD for my upcoming interview for the business grad scheme. I would give you some linkage but it has damn near sent me to sleep so it come wholly unrecomended by slowworm! And no.... as everyone keeps asking me if I get the job it wont be me bombing innocent people ok!

No cheesy game to play 2day but I shall leave you with the full version of my vote for best tv ad of 2003 so far. Slowworm is not implying that buying a honda is a good idea however for the record! Nuff respect to milk and cookies and funjunkie for todays links:-)

2003-05-06T13:57:00.000Z

Would just like to thank Jane over at icandy for all her help! You can find her on the blogroll which is in no particular order for anyone speculating (and not just because I have the html skills of a handicapped monkey)!

2003-05-05T17:04:00.000Z

Ok so I am off to bbq now with the olds, but before I skiddadle I thought I might get all topical and mention those jammy come back kids manchested united....Came accross an article in the washington post about united's forthcoming mini tour of the US, earning the less than cash strapped united $3million! You have got to chuckle at how they discuss 'soccer' and inevitably the idea of winning lots and making lots of money goes down a storm with our american friends...The Wpost backs up it's assertations by quoting a brit now living in the US (Nigel Cunniffe)....who had this to say about united beating Bayerne Munich in 1999: "It was the only time in my life that I experienced a religious moment," said Cunniffe. "It was the greatest moment of my life."....oh dear.

And for anyone hankering after a crap but somehow endearing web game please see sheepy uppy filed under random nonsense, by far the worst game to feature on this page yet!

2003-05-05T14:07:00.000Z

Another glorious day means you are gonna be needing some funky tunes to go with....look no further than mr scruff live on a radio show he did in march:-)
Love the jazzy, funky vibe thang he has going on.....more places for quality scruffy tunes recently fished out of the infinate ocean of possibilities that is the web:

1. The music box, manchester (how i miss this place!)
2. Unibomber Mix 1, manchester
(be sure to check out electric chair's magic outlook on life and music "Long live love, the spirit, timeless soul music, unity, a smiling bassline world, music with the feeling and positivity. Death to cynicism, bitterness and hatred. Music that lasts forever.")
3. Inertia records (One World, radio one.)

in business finally a I reckon with a few nice blogs under my belt, time now to spread the word....watch this space.

2003-05-04T16:45:00.000Z

Am off raid the video shop now....just time to say bruce lee kicked my ass!
(nuff respect to chunkideas for that one)

2003-05-04T15:05:00.000Z

After a serious slanging match with my computer yesterday (and me dangling it out of the window in an attempt to get it to do what I needed!) my beautiful new blog had got its html in such a twist I had to start afresh on the design front....2day I am going with some fun content untill I find some techie help!

Awoke this morning to blinding sunshine, and breakfast with the sunday times in the garden soon followed.....doesn't get much better I assure you! Have been out and about as usual camera in tow, generally seeing what I can see.....stopped at smiths to buy a magazine and found myself amazed when I noticed not one...but three magazines devoted to buses, yep I kid you not. Just as I was chuckling to myself at how sad you would need to be to buy one, a bloke did! Imagine harry potter at 65 with a drinking problem and jack duckworth glasses....nice. Had a wee nosey around hmv (rude not to) and was almost sucked in to another one of those "buy one get one at a bargain price deals..." Sitting pretty at 2 for 20 quid are battle royale and pulp fiction 2 disc set, hmmmmm tempting! Also came accross an album by dj format featuring none other that hip hop god chali 2na! Almost bought it on the spot just on that premise...the site lets you play said song "we know something" excellent. Format supporting the legendary jurassic 5 this year apparently...expect many quality hip hop links to be appearing in the next few weeks...

2003-05-03T17:35:00.000Z

having technical difficulties surprise surprise!

2003-05-03T15:25:00.000Z

Decisions decisions......after much deliberation as to what to name this blog I am now faced with a zillion design issues - am currently trying to learn html in an afternoon with mixed success! Now have a handy guide to colours for websites (see link). A propos to the name I had many favorites, mostly taken by other bloggers already (worrying that I had the same idea sometimes!) Decided against a pun on the word blog...but here are 5 of the best I scribbled on a barmat down my new local last night (the honey pot, oxford):

1. ontheblog
2 ablogaday
3 one man and his blog
4 blog for thought
5 blog now or blog later...

Ok now anyone sad enough to actually use one of these names deserves to live in shame.....

2003-05-03T12:13:00.000Z

So here it is, my first ever blog! I have great expectations as to what slowworm may become, but for now I feel a strong need to get stuck in and design something worthwhile. I don't believe you should judge a blog by its cover, but it is a direct reflection on me and i'll be damned if it's not at least good to look at. About two weeks ago I stumbled across such great blogs as diamond geezer and the ever inspiring and masterful ablogslife....what can I say I was hooked! More later when I have got to grips with the technology!